http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7471483.stm

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/444768

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The pain, gah, the agony, owe, the down right stabbing of my brain. The newest hot topic for newscasters, journalists, and activists is all about gas prices hurting the economy and consumer dissatisfaction. Ok, I’m trying here, really trying to feel sorry for people. Let me explain why it requires so much effort. I know that somewhere down the line people forgot how they posses legs and the ability to bike, skate, take public transit, or heaven forbid walk to get from point A to point B. “But, I need my SUV to tote little Johnny around for soccer practice, need to drive to the gym, drive to work, it’s not convenient for me if I can’t drive.” I don’t even want to touch upon the absurdity of driving to the gym, or this foreign concept of carpooling. And yet there’s this new move to go GREEN. But what Green has come to mean is not taking on more simple means of saving the environment like consuming less and exerting more physical effort, no. Green has come to mean buying Starbucks in recycle friendly cups, airing more hybrid adds with no consumer impact. Oh wait, hybrids are more available in more models, they have paid government incentives, and save you money on gas. However for US americans, they’re “gay”, puny, complicated, and not as fun as they should be. Can I have Cack stapled to my forehead so I can get the same dissatisfaction as reading/listening to all of this malarchy? “Well Wil, you don’t have to listen to all of this, or why not try focusing on something else?” I would have to rip my eyes out with a dull rusty stappler in order to avoid the droning of these damn shinanigans.

I’m going to go take a military issue hummer and drive it over some baby seals while drinking a refreshing starbuck’s chilled somethingorother. I mean I can at least recycle the cup.

ill to the Will

So, fuck you and you and you, but You’re cool.  This will be interesting.  Maybe.

George Carlin died……. shit.  Anyone who gets to play a cardinal with blessed golf clubs and creates “Buddy Jesus” makes me jealous.

Do gay guys have a better fashion sense?  No, just better bodies.

Are you going to live forever?  Doubt it.

Do babies come from storks?  Maybe

Are religions cults?  Yes

So if you read all of that, there’s probably a resounding ? above your head instead of a light bulb.  Let me flick your switch to on.  George Carlin, Gay, Eternal, Baby, Jesus.  At least I think he’d laugh and make something like that.  What would happen if Jesus were gay?  I mean you’ve seen the way he flicks his wrist, and always has such glowing flowing hair.  Who else other than a gay male could turn a dull party into a wine binging hump fest?  Then again, who am I to judge?  As a rum swilling straight male, would I be ostracized by gay baby Jesus, or would he love and accept me tenderly.  *Le Sigh.  If spirituality were confined to such limits as jesus, buddah, allah, vishnu, odin, aliens, or spaghetti monsters we’d all be segregated, blind followers of internal faiths.  I mean war would rage, people would hate their fellow man because of obscure differences and in whole the world would be full of outrageous pissing contests.  I’m just glad to know we live in such a harmonious and wondrous world where our fellow man appreciates each other, and our deities love and except everyone of us regardless of our own harmless beliefs.

If you made it to this line, congrats.  You’ve survived, and here is the crux of my post.  Congrats Tiffany, continue to think for yourself.  Don’t give up on faith in “something”, because “it” is out there however you wish to see it or not see it.  In short, don’t give up on yourself.

Kisses,

This Guy

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